Report to an Academy: being hominid, being horny

I confess to you that after a hard night of reviewing Fringe shows I come home to a small, half-trained, female chimpanzee and I have my way with her.

Not really. I stole that line from Report to an Academy, a curious piece about an ape who becomes human by imitating ape-like behaviour in humans. The trajectory of this piece becomes clear early: as actor Matias Hacker explains his evolution from ape to human, he physically devolves from human to ape. Hacker skillfully morphs between primate species, but the predictability of the journey made it hard for me to stay interested. My mind kept wandering to thoughts of that chimpanzee waiting for me at home, and whether our romantic encounters are bringing out the human in her or the ape in me.

For more information and public forum, um, swing over here.

Editor's note: Plank Magazine does not condone bestiality. We love all animals. The reference to sexual congress between species is mentioned purely for comic effect.